Happy Father’s Day

June 20, 2010 — I posted this earlier this week on freelance-zone.com in the hope that it would help others who were searching for the right Father’s Day gift. I’m posting it again here for my Dad. Happy Father’s Day, Dad. I’m glad you’re my dad. Love, Mike

For most of my 50+ years, I’ve tried to answer a seemingly unsolvable riddle that has plagued mankind for ages: What should I get my dad for Father’s Day?

I’ve figured out that we go through four stages of Father’s Day gift giving. There is the early stage, when your mother buys the gift and just puts your name on it. This stage usually ends around age eight, although it has been known to last 20 or 30 years.

Then there are the project days when your school teacher or den mother oversees your work as you construct a “project” that tests the limits of what can be done with Popsicle sticks and a cigar box.

After that come the “traditional” years when Dad is likely to get a nice tie or some accessory related to his favorite pastime. These are the gravy years since most golf and bowling accessories are manufactured with Father’s Day specifically in mind.

Next comes a more sentimental stage, when you try desperately to come up with a significant memento that will let your father know how special he is (without requiring you to actually say the words). This is the most frustrating stage because it turns out there is no such gift.

Finally though, I saw the light when, while maintaining my status as a son, I gained new status as a father. Now when it’s time to ask myself, “What should I get Dad for Father’s Day?”, I can also ask, “What would I like for Father’s Day?” The answer turned out to be remarkably simple: Nothing makes me feel better than to hear, “I’m glad you’re my dad.” So after all those years of guessing, I finally know what to give my father this Sunday. And the best part is, I won’t even have to go to the mall.